Naïve and sentimental

Back when he rode shotgun because he wanted an answer fitted into his mouth, rode shotgun and entertained the romance of oblivion, a road trip with no return, one wild strawberry sunset after another and roadside cafes sold the best milkshakes and you couldn’t help but know his hand every hour even when you kept your eyes duty-straight, your eyes already red, him halving the dusky silence, Let’s make a stop, to which you’d go, Yes, a neon motel magically appearing in front of you, and its sheets were crisp and he listened to you snore, a subtitled sitcom on TV to keep him company, you never having this dream because it just wasn’t yours, him swallowing the dream every time it wanted to buzz out of his mouth like flesh flies living in his stomach, the hunger in their honest wings hitting every tender spot inside him, ________, you could’ve been tired for as long as you wanted and he could’ve spent the rest of his life devising ways to unfasten the night from time, but instead he intended to suffer quietly because it was safer that way, intended to slowly die from his own safety, he’d recycled sunsets knowing there weren’t enough, having read somewhere that those born in July were the third most insecure people on the planet, him asking, Just third, he’d spin multiplex meanings from your every gesture then himself unravel, flies erupting from his ear canals, on days when you’d turned to him as if you could want him, back then you should’ve made him think he could make the world make sense, no one else was in on it, the neon motel reappearing like a promise, but then when you didn’t

Mark Anthony Cayanan is from the Philippines. They are a PhD candidate at the University of Adelaide and a recipient of fellowships from Villa Sarkia, Art Omi, and Ventspils House. Among their publications are the poetry books Narcissus (Ateneo de Manila UP, 2011) and Except you enthrall me (U of the Philippines P, 2013). Recent work has appeared in Foglifter, The Spectacle, Dreginald, NightBlock, Crab Orchard Review, and Lana Turner.